Typically, I sum up my year towards the end of December every year. This year is an exception. When I get compelled to write I can’t stop, and I’m an open book always willing to share my life. Please enjoy…
The year is 2020.You start the new year off with a panic attack as you quit your secure job of over 4 years so you can get a head start at packing your apartment to relocate with your family 800 miles away from the place you’ve called home for 27.5 years. An amazing and generous opportunity from your in laws that you are overjoyed to have been offered .You breathe.
Everything will be alright. It has to be.
On February 18th you head out at 4am to start your journey. You almost die like 3 times and your kids scream the last 2 hours of the trip. It is dark and pouring rain but as soon as your head hits the pillow in your new state, you know have made it.
You breathe. Everything is okay. You are safe and sound.
3 weeks later you are in a global pandemic. Everything is shut down. You don’t know anything about your new home and all your potential job opportunities hit you with the “Sorry we don’t know what’s happening” e-mails. You are now forced to be a SAHM for 5 months while being thankful your husbands job transferred so you at least have some income to get by.
You breathe. Did you make the right decision? Everything will be alright. It HAS to be.
You watch your children grow, learn, and do new things every day. They get to create an amazing bond with their grandparents and it reminds you of the great bond you have with your own. Slowly you get to explore your new home. And suddenly your babies are one! Your husband gets laid off! And you land a job! All on the same day.
You breathe. What a day/month/year thus far. Things will work out, somehow.
You start your new job. A step down from your previous position, but you are happy and okay with your decision. Your co-workers welcome you with open arms and you feel like you have made the right choice. You find an amazing daycare for your now toddlers. Your husband starts a new career. You find a mom van. Life starts regaining normalcy and you feel at ease.
October has arrived. Your favorite month, or what once was. Your day starts off with news of your grandfather passing. You are devastated and your world is rocked a bit. You want to be with family more than ever but with two small children, two newish jobs, and still being in a global pandemic it is just not possible. Your depression creeps back up and you sink into a hole.
You cry. You try to breathe. You are not okay, but you will be.
You FINALLY get to hug your parents and your best friend after 8 long months. You spend an amazing week full of laughter and joy and it feels like you had never left. You once again feel hopeful.
You breathe. Distance will never affect your relationships and you are grateful for that.
YOU BUY YOUR FIRST HOME! A new build. You watch it grow from the ground up. You are over the moon but nervous at the same time. Such a huge step in life. Your relationship is stronger than ever, you and your husband’s careers are in motion, and your twins are absolutely thriving.
With a little over a month left in the year, you feel thankful. Thankful for the incredible opportunity to start fresh. Thankful for your families and friend’s health in such uncertain times. Thankful for who have been there for you, new and old, through such a huge transitional period in your life.
You breathe a huge sigh of relief. You are okay. Everything is okay. 2020 did not break you.